Bombs Away!

A very "special military operations" Ask Matt

Trump: “Hey Vlad, you’re a terrific, fantastic, amazing horseman. Also, you have a tremendous rack - this I will tell you.” Putin: “Hey D-cups, is that a thermobaric rocket in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Editor’s Note: Have a question about nation-grabbing? Ask Vladimir Putin. Have any other questions? Ask Matt at askmattlabash@gmail.com.

Dear Matt,
Now that Vladimir Putin is waging war in Ukraine, a not-very-great loser country, are you finally convinced that he is an amazing, fantastic, classy, alpha world leader, who I am tremendous friends with?
DJT

Whoa, cowgirl…..I don’t like to tell readers – even thinly disguised ones – how to formulate questions. But I’m forced to take issue with you saying that Vladimir Putin is “waging war” in Ukraine. Putin prefers to call it a “special military operation.” As in, his military will kill you if you get in his way, ‘specially if you’re Ukrainian. But, as Putin tells it, he has to “de-Nazify” the country. A nation that’s run, at least for the next few days or hours, by Volodymyr Zelensky, who is Jewish, whose grandfather fought the Nazis while in the Soviet army, and three of whose great uncles were killed in the Holocaust. Which makes him a curious candidate to run a Nazi country. So maybe Putin’s confused. But we’ll chalk that up to the fog of special military operations.

All we have to go by is Putin’s word, of course, which changes and shifts with the wind.  (He initially called his assassins “peacekeeping” forces. As with all good dictators, euphemism is his best friend.) Then too, we also have the video footage of him bombing and surrounding umpteen Ukrainian cities. Or the pleas of Zelensky crying, “We are being attacked from the south, north, east, and from the air,” as he is now imploring even civilians to take up arms and to make Molotov cocktails. But these days, Putin’s word, to many on the blame-America-first right (which used to be the left’s job), is as good as gold. Or at least the ruble, which has fallen to record lows since Putin invaded, come to think of it.

Take the perennially loud’n’proud Candace Owens. (Please take her – preferably some place far away – I’ll pay you.)  She was gullible enough to tweet this: