Distrusting Our Own Side
Plus, is God a Republican or Democrat? And a student subscription giveaway!
Editor’s Note: Have a question about Matt’s nudity policy? Don’t ask him about it. He’s shy. Just visit his OnlyFans page, where animal sexiness awaits. Direct other, more tasteful questions to email@example.com. We honor all anonymity and pseudonym requests.
Credit where credit's due, you're a very funny, very clever writer. When you're torching Republicans. This despite repeated references to a deep relationship with Christ and fervent disavowals of liberalism.
Try pissing out of the tent once in a while. What about Stacey Abrams, BLM, AOC.…..You fill in the blank. Hypocrisy and lies are bipartisan currency. Are they not?
Whoa, M., if that’s even your real name. I say a lot of things around these parts, and I don’t expect to be held accountable for all of them. I sort of have to run off at the mouth to scratch subscriber bellies around here. If I don’t, who will? It’s not like I can depend on my useless staff writers, since I don’t employ any.
But in my most loose-lipped, careless hour, I don’t recall ever saying I have a “deep relationship” with Christ. I am, to be sure, an unabashed professing Christian. But a shamefully shallow one, who regularly and spectacularly fails my Lord and Savior. (Just ask him, I’m told he keeps pretty detailed paperwork.) When I’m not drinking, I’m cussing. I recognize my slothfulness, but am too lazy to do anything about it. I’m a man of the New Testament, but generally prefer Old Testament vengeance to turning the other cheek. I have a short fuse, and I gossip. (If I’m not talking to you at the moment, chances are I’m talking about you.)
The Book of Revelation contains warnings for people like me: I know thy works; that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.
I like quoting that scripture, mainly because I don’t get to use the word “wert” often enough in modern English. Otherwise, it scares the bejesus out of me. But even we lukewarm types, with our eyes encrusted half-shut from all the divine sputum, can see that when we signed up for Christianity, we were pledging allegiance to J.C., not the RNC.