This Tired Old World
Plus, Ask Matt explores despair contraceptives, how fish think, and big dogs vs. little dogs
Editor’s note: Asking too many questions of your spouse, your shrink, your Magic 8-ball? Just stop, because they don’t care. But you know who does? Matt Labash. (Sort of.) Why not ask him at askmattlabash@gmail.com? Submit as many questions as you’d like, as often as you’d like, under whatever alias keeps you out of law enforcement’s clutches. All questions cannot be answered. But they will all be prayerfully considered and saved for potential future Ask Matts, a question-selection process he calls “The Toobin” – he might whip one out at any time. Questions might be edited for clarity, obscenity, or for just going on too long. If you wish to write an essay instead of a question, Matt suggests starting your own Substack.
Dear Matt,
I’m really tired. So is everyone I know. Earth has become an exhausting place. What gives?
Audrey
My condolences on your fatigue. But how do you think I feel? I have overdue writing chores. Another big snow storm is coming, and my snow blower is still on the blink. I continue to do Tussin shots like I’m getting paid by the dying liver cell, trying to chase my residual COVID cough away. Our country is a mess, and forever getting messier. Betty White is dead, and her killer is still at large. Not to mention, I’ve had to put all obligations aside to take a mental health break while my pronouns are transitioning. I’m moving from he/him to whichever/whomever. Not as a political statement. I just think interrogative pronouns are grossly underrepresented, which is unacceptable to me as a champion of diversity.