Why?

Why are we here, why do we shrink God down to size, and why do so many religious people fail their religion?

Editor’s Note:  Have a question about how to ignore ethics concerns and conflicts of interest in order to capitalize on your station in life for personal enrichment?  Ask Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch, or John Roberts. They seem to be the experts.  For all other questions, ask Matt Labash at askmattlabash@gmail.com.

Dear Matt,
I have never understood why the beautiful mysteries of cosmology aren’t enough for any of us. The “music of the celestial spheres” is magnificent! Of course, cosmology doesn’t give clear answers, nor is it altered by prayer, supplication, or indulgences. Why do so many believe in an anthropomorphic deity in a long white robe?  Is the deity male or female? Why does he have a beard? Perhaps a woman with a serious hormone problem? Honestly, I can’t answer these questions and one of the most intelligent people I know is a cosmologist, an astronaut who in the middle of his life became an observant Jew. My concern is so many who justify their cruelty, sadism, and harm via religion – e.g. the virulent, Trump born-agains. Penny for your thoughts.  
All the best,
Richard K. 

Well hell, Richard. For a second there, I thought you said “the beautiful mysteries of cosmetology.” A subject I was raring to go on, having just had my hair set by Bonnie down at Curl Up and Dye. But upon closer reading, I see you meant “cosmology.” (You have to go slowly for us state-school graduates.) Thanks for turning to a guy on the internet you’ve never met to address life’s biggest mysteries, to definitively answer scientifically unanswerable questions about the nature and origins of the universe, and to hold forth on why God doesn’t shave. All while taking into account why so many religious people – my people, more or less – often desecrate the religion they profess. It shows you’re a man of faith after all, believing that I can pull off this party trick in 1,500 words.