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M. Trosino's avatar

Well, Matt, a little pre-holiday, less than all-things-goodness-and-light piece to balance out the brightness and shine of what will surely be an all-things-goodness-and-light Merry Christmas / Happy New Year piece you no doubt have in the offing, right?? OK. I'm good with that. Just as I'm more than good with Bonus Track 1. SRV...now you're talkin' my kind of language, musically speaking, anyway. But you're pretty good at speakin' my kind of language in other ways, too. Like your description of "what counts as a good man in 2022". Which pretty much describes my yardstick for that particular subspecies of the American Male for as long as I can remember wielding a yardstick.

BTW, your father and mine sound rather similar, minus the 3-ring binders and the Good Book. Not that my dad didn't read some pretty good books. Most of them just didn't come with numbered verses, and he didn't preach from them. Rather he learned from them, since his formal education was cut a bit short while still a teenager by a couple of minor inconveniences, like the Great Depression and some little military dust up that followed. He learned how to be competent at the things he did, and the things he wanted to do, and how to fill the voids created by his curiosity. (Anyone who had only a casual acquaintance with him wouldn't have taken him for the type to have books about astronomy on his bookshelf and a pretty nice telescope in his basement.)

But very much like your father, he led, in his case mostly by example. Some folks might say *quiet* example, since he wasn't the loud or boisterous sort. But the message delivered over my time knowing him was nothing if not loud and clear. And I've no doubt that, as a man myself, I'm much the better off for that.

I think a good number - if not all - of the cohort of today's manly men peppering your piece, as well as a whole host of others, are suffering from, among other things, the same basic malady. Culture porn addiction. A la Potter Stewart, I may not be able to define precisely what that is, but I know it when I see it. And it ain't pretty, or even sexy. Actually, it's more than a little boring. And, being addicts, these poor wankers just can't break free of it, constantly pursuing an endless ego orgasm, which turns out to be about as rewarding and fulfilling as a nameless one-night stand. I sometimes wish they'd go a bit more fringe and hardcore and indulge in a bit of autoerotic asphyxiation, thereby lowering the decibel level of all their noise. But I'm guessing the most we can hope for is that some of them will spend more time incommunicado in their testicle tanning booths.

I've known a few good men in my life, and the interesting thing is, the better among them were the quietest and least likely to say *manly* things, unless you were to spend a certain amount of time in a bar with them. Nor did they engage in any overt *manly* acts. They just lived their lives as men without questioning their own manhood or masculinity, or that of anyone else, I might add. Which was pretty much the way my old man did it, come to think of it.

Well, it's a free country. And as long as it stays that way, these guys have a right to indulge themselves as they see fit regarding their masculinity, I reckon. It's just too bad that that turns out to be a sometimes-painful exercise for all the rest of us. Speaking of all the rest of us, here's another little ditty from SRV, Stevie Ray being one of the better things to have ever come out of the Lone Star State. (Now, don't get your back up, all you Texans reading this. I know in spite of the current media narrative that there are some good people in Texas. I met both of you not too long ago.)

If you note Vaughn's remark before starting to work his magic, you'll see why I chose it for "all the rest of us", 'cause one way or another, I think we're all a little in need of a dose of this medicine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3c_8VUL5jks

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Windriven's avatar

"When Alex Jones is the Voice of Reason in your life, it’s probably time to take critical inventory of your choices."

Arguably the best line in the piece. It also suggests the larger point: if you've reached adulthood and still need others to establish where your guardrails should be, you haven't done it right. And speaking of not having done it properly, what the hell is up with people bewailing the decay of masculinity? Perhaps I suffer from some pinko liberal misunderstanding of what masculinity is supposed to look like. But I think Tino Kamarck elsewhere in this thread got it pretty much right. There's no dearth of masculinity, there is a dearth of males whose notions of masculinity aren't stuck in another time.

I can't seem to figure out how to embed links in the substack universe so here: https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2021/10/08/the-male-college-crisis-is-not-just-in-enrollment-but-completion/

Some men don't feel manly because they don't feel relevant in the evolving world? Tough shit. Time and tide wait for no man. Men are becoming intellectual losers in a time when intellectual prowess is far more important than excess testosterone. Read a fucking book for Christ's sake. Learn how to make a contribution to yourself, your family, your society. Bringing home a dead squirrel isn't going to get it done, Daniel Boone.

I was driving through town the other day and saw a piece of shit pickup truck with two ZZ Top-looking scrubs inside, an American flag and a MAGA flag on opposite corners at the back of the bed. I so wanted a photo but they were gone before I could get one. That photo with the caption: These are the men making America great again. Um hmm.

We live in a dangerous world, a world strewn with clusterbombs like climate change but also teeming with opportunities like quantum computing and nuclear fusion. I've never had much confidence in homo sapiens. I don't think ours is a species built to last. But if we are to have a chance at long term survival it won't be the result of a bunch of pussies whining about their disrespected masculinity.

And while I'm ranting, these idiotic incels ought to have a long look in the mirror and ask themselves why any woman would want to mate with them. Christ, they're too pathetic for even a mercy fuck by a streetwalker.

Ahhhh. I feel a bit better now. I'll go back to reading Sabine Hossenfelder's, "Existential Physics."

(edited to repair a mangling of Tino Kamarck's last name)

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