It's hard to have faith in any politician, especially at the Federal level. Military services have ways of weeding out the undesirables and usually promoting the best. Politics has a way promoting the worst, most veial menbers of either party - I give you, among others MTG and Manchin. Lest I forget, let's include Pelosi and McConnell who should be in homes for elder care - but wait, isn't the Senate an old age home for the wealthy and well-connected?
As for raising the voting age to 25, I think many Republicans would want to raise the voting to 60 or above and for white people only. The Democrats would like to see more teenagers and less white people as voters. Speaking of venial politicans, I would be remiss if I didn't mention certain members of the Supreme Court, who are above the law and have a code of ethics any member of the Mafia would applaud.
As a comedian (not you) said, all members of Congress should wear team shirts and jackets, so we know which team they represent - because it certainly isn't the American Public. The source of all humor is pain, and your humor certainly causes pain. That is, after I have stopped laughing and start to realize the truth you are telling.
While "Florida Man" has few equals in this country, and being a proud (more or less; I mean, Matt Gaetz and all) Panhandle pioneer, I still must point out--if no one else has--that the snake and hawk attack took place outside of Houston TX. Not that I haven't seen ospreys drop snakes they had caught here along Santa Rosa Sound. And the Shakespeare editing is not as dramatic as it would seem on the surface, much like the "slaves benefiting from slavery" theme was pretty overcooked. Just sayin'
We in Florida are also looking at an outbreak of native born malaria, in addition to leading the nation in Hansen's Disease. I was a Foreign Service Officer who spent a career in Africa, and I would offer that the malaria is the far more serious issue. Some experts say malaria causes more deaths than any other affliction. Leprosy, on the other hand, is curable, and not highly transmittable. Over 9 out of 10 people have a natural immunity to it. This ain't Ben Hur's Jerusalem, or the Big Island's sanatorium. There are other mycobacteria in Florida that have far worse consequences.
Separately, and not to disagree with your assessment of Vivek, yet another denizen of The Confederacy of Dunces, I'd frankly support raising voting age, drinking age, driving age, and weapon buying age to 25. If a draft were to come back, I'd raise the eligible age to 21, and waive the other age limits for members of the military. Having been young myself, long ago, I recognize the depths and limits of hormonal stupidity, and ignorance. At least one of those can be remedied; the other may pass, sooner or later, though that is not at all certain, as history and current events remind us.
Thanks for the Lake Street Dive link. I'd not heard them before.
You might have missed the correction, Frank, if you only read the piece by email. (I put it up on the site shortly after publication.) It reads:
{Post-publication correction: A vigilant reader reminded me that the snake-rain happened in Texas, not Florida - some considering Texas Florida-Central. My mistake. I believe I originally read it in a Florida paper. Though maybe not. But I’m pro-transparency, so here you see my prejudices at work. I am prepared to believe the worst about Florida since they so often live up to my expectations. It felt like a Florida story, so I went with it. But they are still a leper colony. So there is that……}
Didn't mean to slag your fair state too hard, though. I have plenty of friends who live in Florida, since I have a lot of criminals for friends. And might have to wear a disguise next time I see them.
You're right about many Floridians. When Ron brags about other Americans migrating to the Sunshine State, he neglects to thank the other states for sending us their "worst and dimmest." We also have more than our share of penitentiaries (for those who were unable to afford good attorneys). They're as thick as homes in The Villages (don't get me started) as you drive along US 90.
Disguises? Try the old stone in the shoe trick, or reversible/removable clothing layers. Hats can work well. Wigs and fake beards are so obvious. A circuitous route might help.
Good thinking, Frank. I'll dress as a manatee, and come in by sea. Or maybe I'll just smuggle myself in a super-sized bottle of Ivermectin. They'll never see me coming.
Well I have gone before, Victoria, and I will now distill for you in one line every Iowa State Fair piece that has ever been published, or ever will be published: "Politicians eating fried stuff, pretending to like Iowans."
I have about given up on the Republicans. Not that I ever was one, but as a Dem who has found myself on the conservative end of the party by just standing still from about 1976, I could even jump ship for a John Kasich type or Murkowski, but Murkowski could not even win a GOP primary and would be retired but for ranked choice which her party is trying to undo in Alaska.
I had hoped that beyond the two front runners trying to out populist each other, one of the sane nice Rs could grab the nice, sane lane, like Tim Scott, but noting Ramaswamy has now grabbed third place, I have to conclude that the nice sane lane that used to have people like McCain and Romney has ceased to exist.
Call me crazy, but somehow I don’t think all the evangelicals that have spent the last 8 years convincing themselves that Trump is a Christian are ready to elect a Hindu president. I think Ramaswamy knows that, like you said, he’s a smart guy, so I feel like maybe he’s running for something other than actually being president.
AllahNick Cattogio mentioned this piece at his Dispatch newsletter today, and judging from the reaction, I believe you may pick up a few new subscribers.
Newly paying subscriber here. Even if I'm only treated to a couple of essays every month, it's worth the 5 (6?) bucks to keep Matt writing.
I was liking what I had seen of Bowlaramaswamy on such journalistic stalwarts as CNBC, until I read your takedown. And as a Florida voter, I was pretty pleased with DeSantis as governor until he got national ambitions. Now I have to go look for a Dakotan or Carolinian to be my protest vote against the Mango Menace?
And on the other, you could always just write in a brother-in-law or an idiot cousin or something as a protest vote. That's what I usually do. They won't win, but truth be told, they wouldn't be any worse. And some of them would be much better.
Everytime I see Vivek being interviewed, I wonder: 1) what is his skin regimen, 2) what is that lip gloss tint...I love it, where can purchase it?, and 3) who does his makeup?
Sources close to the campaign tell me it's Revlon Kiss Balm Berry Burst, with a natural fruit-oils hydrating formula that comes in sheer juicy color with SPF 20 protection. Though you have to reapply it often after kissing Trump's ass.
Matt, glad to know you always have the inside scoop. I can now cross this off my list of "need to knows"...looking forward to you getting the other answers for your always curious readers.
Rachael Price and her band, Lake Street Dive, is just too original to fit into any particular genre. That's why they slip between the cracks. "Slip between the cracks" music is my genre, I guess. I don't pick it. It picks me. This is one of my favs by my secret, "way too young for me" crush...
That's tempting and all. I would say yes, Ryan. But I'm kind of like an old Sioux Chief when it comes to cameras. I believe they steal our soul, so I hate to appear on them unless I absolutely have to. And getting loaded to the gills on camera qualifies as "not having to." But maybe once AI takes over, and I'm desperate enough..........Never say never.
Are you hinting that you’re the new James Bond?! I knew it! I’ve been begging on the Broccoli family forums for them to go American, white and Baptist with the next Bond so I can finally see myself represented on screen. You’ve earned it.
Saw Lake Street Dive at the State Theatre of Ithaca in, well Ithaca. Who knew it was Cornell’s homecoming weekend, but that’s another story.
An absolutely wonderful performance. The hall size and acoustics were perfect for the band. And Rachel Price?……pheww!
The encore was Bohemian Rhapsody, the highlight of the song being LSD’s trumpet player taking on Brian May’s guitar parts in the original version. You may have heard it. The trumpeter got through most of it without laughing.
After, and due to the aforementioned homecoming we elbowed our way into one of the best oyster shucking joints this side of _____________.
Carry on.
Oh yeah, great article although admittedly I just read them for the music.
These are a few of my favorite things: oysters, and good trumpet parts. Laying their horns in the groove on a regular basis is one of the reasons I really dig that band. They understand horns make everything better, just like James Brown did before them. Instant soul cred.
It's hard to have faith in any politician, especially at the Federal level. Military services have ways of weeding out the undesirables and usually promoting the best. Politics has a way promoting the worst, most veial menbers of either party - I give you, among others MTG and Manchin. Lest I forget, let's include Pelosi and McConnell who should be in homes for elder care - but wait, isn't the Senate an old age home for the wealthy and well-connected?
As for raising the voting age to 25, I think many Republicans would want to raise the voting to 60 or above and for white people only. The Democrats would like to see more teenagers and less white people as voters. Speaking of venial politicans, I would be remiss if I didn't mention certain members of the Supreme Court, who are above the law and have a code of ethics any member of the Mafia would applaud.
As a comedian (not you) said, all members of Congress should wear team shirts and jackets, so we know which team they represent - because it certainly isn't the American Public. The source of all humor is pain, and your humor certainly causes pain. That is, after I have stopped laughing and start to realize the truth you are telling.
Is there anyone that even remotely tickles your fancy in the political arena or is everyone objectionable to you?
Present tense? It's hard to think of anyone. But if I do, will let you know. Had nice things to say about Kinky Friedman: https://mattlabash.substack.com/p/looking-back-in-joy-instead-of-ahead But he never quite made it into the political arena. A credit to his character, probably. Wrote a pretty favorable piece about Kinzinger a year and a half ago, but of course, they all but drilled him out of his own party. https://mattlabash.substack.com/p/stuck-in-the-middle
Is there anyone who should be tickling my fancy, who I might have missed?
Lili von Shtupp? Only she's tired, too.
Can't think of anyone who might be in your bailiwick.
Interesting read about Adam Kinzinger.
While "Florida Man" has few equals in this country, and being a proud (more or less; I mean, Matt Gaetz and all) Panhandle pioneer, I still must point out--if no one else has--that the snake and hawk attack took place outside of Houston TX. Not that I haven't seen ospreys drop snakes they had caught here along Santa Rosa Sound. And the Shakespeare editing is not as dramatic as it would seem on the surface, much like the "slaves benefiting from slavery" theme was pretty overcooked. Just sayin'
We in Florida are also looking at an outbreak of native born malaria, in addition to leading the nation in Hansen's Disease. I was a Foreign Service Officer who spent a career in Africa, and I would offer that the malaria is the far more serious issue. Some experts say malaria causes more deaths than any other affliction. Leprosy, on the other hand, is curable, and not highly transmittable. Over 9 out of 10 people have a natural immunity to it. This ain't Ben Hur's Jerusalem, or the Big Island's sanatorium. There are other mycobacteria in Florida that have far worse consequences.
Separately, and not to disagree with your assessment of Vivek, yet another denizen of The Confederacy of Dunces, I'd frankly support raising voting age, drinking age, driving age, and weapon buying age to 25. If a draft were to come back, I'd raise the eligible age to 21, and waive the other age limits for members of the military. Having been young myself, long ago, I recognize the depths and limits of hormonal stupidity, and ignorance. At least one of those can be remedied; the other may pass, sooner or later, though that is not at all certain, as history and current events remind us.
Thanks for the Lake Street Dive link. I'd not heard them before.
You might have missed the correction, Frank, if you only read the piece by email. (I put it up on the site shortly after publication.) It reads:
{Post-publication correction: A vigilant reader reminded me that the snake-rain happened in Texas, not Florida - some considering Texas Florida-Central. My mistake. I believe I originally read it in a Florida paper. Though maybe not. But I’m pro-transparency, so here you see my prejudices at work. I am prepared to believe the worst about Florida since they so often live up to my expectations. It felt like a Florida story, so I went with it. But they are still a leper colony. So there is that……}
Didn't mean to slag your fair state too hard, though. I have plenty of friends who live in Florida, since I have a lot of criminals for friends. And might have to wear a disguise next time I see them.
You're right about many Floridians. When Ron brags about other Americans migrating to the Sunshine State, he neglects to thank the other states for sending us their "worst and dimmest." We also have more than our share of penitentiaries (for those who were unable to afford good attorneys). They're as thick as homes in The Villages (don't get me started) as you drive along US 90.
Disguises? Try the old stone in the shoe trick, or reversible/removable clothing layers. Hats can work well. Wigs and fake beards are so obvious. A circuitous route might help.
Good thinking, Frank. I'll dress as a manatee, and come in by sea. Or maybe I'll just smuggle myself in a super-sized bottle of Ivermectin. They'll never see me coming.
You should go to the Iowa State Fair and write up what you see the candidates doing. That should be entertaining!
Well I have gone before, Victoria, and I will now distill for you in one line every Iowa State Fair piece that has ever been published, or ever will be published: "Politicians eating fried stuff, pretending to like Iowans."
I have about given up on the Republicans. Not that I ever was one, but as a Dem who has found myself on the conservative end of the party by just standing still from about 1976, I could even jump ship for a John Kasich type or Murkowski, but Murkowski could not even win a GOP primary and would be retired but for ranked choice which her party is trying to undo in Alaska.
I had hoped that beyond the two front runners trying to out populist each other, one of the sane nice Rs could grab the nice, sane lane, like Tim Scott, but noting Ramaswamy has now grabbed third place, I have to conclude that the nice sane lane that used to have people like McCain and Romney has ceased to exist.
Call me crazy, but somehow I don’t think all the evangelicals that have spent the last 8 years convincing themselves that Trump is a Christian are ready to elect a Hindu president. I think Ramaswamy knows that, like you said, he’s a smart guy, so I feel like maybe he’s running for something other than actually being president.
Worked for "Mayor" Pete, another unknown from a failed rust belt city who's now actually 'in the conversation.'
For sure. I fully expect a Ramaswamy Show of some sort to be announced by this time next year.
Maybe he's just running from his conscience. In which case, he's winning that race.
It gives you some name recognition like anybody would otherwise know who Marianne Williamson is
AllahNick Cattogio mentioned this piece at his Dispatch newsletter today, and judging from the reaction, I believe you may pick up a few new subscribers.
Nice - thanks for telling me, John. I don't know Nick personally. But he's really good.
Hi Matt! Absolutely love the song! Thank you.
Newly paying subscriber here. Even if I'm only treated to a couple of essays every month, it's worth the 5 (6?) bucks to keep Matt writing.
I was liking what I had seen of Bowlaramaswamy on such journalistic stalwarts as CNBC, until I read your takedown. And as a Florida voter, I was pretty pleased with DeSantis as governor until he got national ambitions. Now I have to go look for a Dakotan or Carolinian to be my protest vote against the Mango Menace?
Thanks for joining the team, Chris.
And on the other, you could always just write in a brother-in-law or an idiot cousin or something as a protest vote. That's what I usually do. They won't win, but truth be told, they wouldn't be any worse. And some of them would be much better.
Would an idiot brother-in-law work? I'm overstocked.
Midge meet Chomper. The Kiski River Alligator. https://assets-varnish.triblive.com/2023/08/6459660_web1_vnd-ChomperUpdate-02-081023.jpg
Great musical selection...what a voice! Thanks much
Everytime I see Vivek being interviewed, I wonder: 1) what is his skin regimen, 2) what is that lip gloss tint...I love it, where can purchase it?, and 3) who does his makeup?
Sources close to the campaign tell me it's Revlon Kiss Balm Berry Burst, with a natural fruit-oils hydrating formula that comes in sheer juicy color with SPF 20 protection. Though you have to reapply it often after kissing Trump's ass.
Matt, glad to know you always have the inside scoop. I can now cross this off my list of "need to knows"...looking forward to you getting the other answers for your always curious readers.
Thanks for the misical selection....what a voice and what a great rendition!
Matt's music of the day:
Rachael Price and her band, Lake Street Dive, is just too original to fit into any particular genre. That's why they slip between the cracks. "Slip between the cracks" music is my genre, I guess. I don't pick it. It picks me. This is one of my favs by my secret, "way too young for me" crush...
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lcUeothSPyc&si=4TEibPOqwqo8rnzN
Good stuff!
Can we have a Matt Drinks Anything video in which he drinks whatever readers send in?
That's tempting and all. I would say yes, Ryan. But I'm kind of like an old Sioux Chief when it comes to cameras. I believe they steal our soul, so I hate to appear on them unless I absolutely have to. And getting loaded to the gills on camera qualifies as "not having to." But maybe once AI takes over, and I'm desperate enough..........Never say never.
Are you hinting that you’re the new James Bond?! I knew it! I’ve been begging on the Broccoli family forums for them to go American, white and Baptist with the next Bond so I can finally see myself represented on screen. You’ve earned it.
Saw Lake Street Dive at the State Theatre of Ithaca in, well Ithaca. Who knew it was Cornell’s homecoming weekend, but that’s another story.
An absolutely wonderful performance. The hall size and acoustics were perfect for the band. And Rachel Price?……pheww!
The encore was Bohemian Rhapsody, the highlight of the song being LSD’s trumpet player taking on Brian May’s guitar parts in the original version. You may have heard it. The trumpeter got through most of it without laughing.
After, and due to the aforementioned homecoming we elbowed our way into one of the best oyster shucking joints this side of _____________.
Carry on.
Oh yeah, great article although admittedly I just read them for the music.
These are a few of my favorite things: oysters, and good trumpet parts. Laying their horns in the groove on a regular basis is one of the reasons I really dig that band. They understand horns make everything better, just like James Brown did before them. Instant soul cred.
I sure hope you have the original Chicago Transit Authority double album.
I sat 8 feet away from Wynton Marsalis's sextet, in small Jazz club 32 years ago. I didn't realize humans could be so grand...