When I was in the military, "Mission Statement" guy was always busy. And I always knew to find another unit. A unit focused on optimizing its mission statement isn't contributing to the fight in meaningful way. That stuff is all leadership mumbo jumbo to get people promoted, the kind of people who should probably never be promoted.
Oct 12, 2022·edited Oct 12, 2022Liked by Matt Labash
Congrats on the One Year bingo. May there be many more. I was intrigued by the reference/link (the better man) to your Dad. I enjoyed the Anger Problem essay (where was I in late October last year? Oh yeah, fishing in the Chandeleurs) for a number of reasons. However, the practice of the "three-ring binder...of spiritual and moral instruction, with periodic updates,." was cool.
I discussed this with friends at a book-study I attend. They all asked: "What does he put in there?". This will be an ongoing topic for a while, as most of us are grandparents, or soon will be. It might even be worth another essay by you, if I have not missed one addressing this in the past year. In fact, maybe a few adults I know should get the same three-ring binder.
Love your writing, Matt. Am sorry that I missed your earlier reporting, but when JVL said 'subscribe' to one of the best writers and humans he knew, I decided to do it. You are a breath of fresh air (sorry, but the cliche fits!).
Thanks, Kathleen. If JVL told you to jump off a bridge, would you? He once told me to, and I got shin splints. JVL lied, people almost died. But I'm glad he directed you here.
Glad to be here to see the first of what will hopefully be many. My son, having grown up hearing me marvel at your literary exploits back in the Weekly Standard days, alerted me to the existence of Slack Tide, so your talent is one of the increasingly rare ones that spans generations (right up there with the Kardashians or Wayne Newton). After all, what generation wouldn’t like to have a backstage perspective of the Christian professional wrestling world?
Has it been a year already? Time flies when you’re amusing/enlightening/entertaining me, Matt. Glad to have found you, and here’s hoping the news improves over the next 12 months.
Thanks, pal. My best to Taboo and Fergie. (I know I've made Black Eyed Peas jokes before, but they never get old - to me, anyway. I'm sure they do to you.)
Sounds silly but I always forget to listen to music. Ahhhh, Bonus Track never disappoints and always triggers some sort of musical journey for me. Thank you, Matt. Happy Birthday Slack Tide.
Happy anniversary to you and your wonderful writing. This afternoon we are celebrating four family members’ October birthdays with a Lasagna, a garden fresh salad with homemade blue cheese dressing, garlic bread made with fresh garlic and a carrot cake made with carrots from the neighbors’s garden. We ranch folks know how to eat! I will raise my glass of wine to celebrate you, as well. I think you were my first Substack subscription and I still get a kick out of you actually responding to my comments. Just as if I matter! You and Walter Kirn are my favorites. I so appreciate all the wonderful kind and considerate commenters you have cultivated. So, congratulations to all of us who get to read your stories.
The horse in your picture……got a bit of Arab in it? We have QHs here. Mine’s a dark bay and husband’s is a dun. You should smell that lasagna finishing up in the oven. We are in SW Idaho and if you’re in the neighborhood, we’d make room at the table. Provided the dogs like you, of course.
Ha! Too bad I'm not in your neck of the woods...the door wouldn't be hittin' me in the backside as I left to squeeze in at your table! (I'm a dog person - we have a Boxer / Terrier maniac named Willie keepin' an eye on things around here at the moment - but just to be sure, I'd maybe rub a little hamburger or chicken on my pant leg before I left.)
No, Dixie is all QH, as is the Bay gelding that's her turn-out mate. Dixie's actually my wife's mare, coming on 27 yrs old now. I bought her as a pleasure / trail horse for my wife 20 years ago. The Bay is 'mine', bought as a weanling 20 years ago. But I pretty much get equal saddle time on both of them.
Picture was taken last September. She was diagnosed with Cushing's disease in the spring of last year. The med we put her on did its job, and continues to do so, but it took her until Sept. to fully shed her winter coat, and that was the 1st time she was ridden last year because of that...it can get pretty hot / humid here in MI in the summer, and last year was a pretty warm one and she was pretty miserable for most of it. She's a real pleasure to ride, well trained (before we got her). Pretty much a push-button Cadillac, unlike my Bay, who's a lumber wagon by comparison, but still a lot of fun. What he lacks in confirmation and 'smoothness', he makes up for in personality...about 1100 pounds worth. If Doc doesn't make me laugh at least once a day, I'm just not payin' attention.
Have had horses for 30 years now. A fair number have come and gone over the years, all QHs except for one App (couldn't tell she was an App unless you looked at her striped feet...no blanket, no 'chrome') one Palomino (really, just a blonde QH), a breeding-stock Paint filly (the most gorgeous and also, as it turned out, the dumbest and most dangerous horse I ever owned - her time with us was short) and one grey Arabian of Polish / Russian blood I bought from a breeder acquaintance as a green 2 year old, basically on a whim. He was a great ride. Other than the one time during a training ride he left me flat on my back in the middle of a side road. Wasn't too happy that I'd pushed him way past feeding time and took advantage of my momentary inattention and complacency brought on by the fact he'd been absolutely perfect up to that point. Took me an hour to catch him. But we got along great after that. Quite a different experience from the QHs I was used to. My daughter showed him for a couple of summers and didn't do too badly with him.
Though I like all horses, I've always been a QH guy. My first horse, purchased 30 years ago, was just a grade, foundation style Quarter, 7 years old, and a rocket with a lit fuse. All he wanted to do was run, and that was fine with me. Lost Rusty last year at the age of 36. Always said he was the best thousand bucks I ever spent on myself, or pretty much anything else, because of all the other horses / experiences trailering him home led to. Can't think of him without thinking of a commercial Los Alamitos used to run to advertise their QH racing...a 'jockey cam' POV of a QH launching out of the gate and heading down the track full bore, nothing but the sound of pounding hooves and a caption: Quarter Horse racing...Highway speeds. Without the highway.
Well, you see what happens when you ask a question about a horse of a horse owner, but I expect you might have had this experience before. If not, reckon you'll know better next time. ;-)
Hope you all had a great time together. Happy Birthdays all around!!
Never tire of horse stories. I’ve had them since about 1969 and pretty much loved them all. I was really shy as a kid and those horses were my best friends. We brought elderlies up to ID 13 yrs ago, and have laid the two girls to rest since then. We have a small sheep ranch and aren’t lacking in critters. 2 Border Collie sisters, a Corgi/BC cross, 4 cats, Koi, 2ducks, 30 hens, 2 horses, 40 ewes and 3 bucks (sheep, not dollars😂). And Grandkids!
B’day dinner was excellent! I love to cook and my peeps like to eat.
Holy cow! (Yes, I actually said that on purpose.) You're sure that's a ranch you've got there? Might want to check your deed to see if you might have purchased a zoo by mistake.
All kidding aside, that's a lot of critters to take care of, even in good weather. Winters in ID must be on par or maybe worse than what we get here in the Lower P in MI, so that's got to be a hell of a lot of work!! And to think I used to start grumbling come mid-February about a string of a few nags, 2 dogs 3 cats and keepin' the birds that winter over pretty well fed! No wonder y'all eat so well. Pretty much have to just to stay on your feet, I expect. And if I were feeding that may mouths, 3 bucks ($$$) is about all I'd have to my name at any given time!
Know what you mean about horses / friends. Always wanted one as a kid, but never got the chance to have one of my own. A few of the local farmers I worked for growing up down in KY had a nag or two standing around, and I'd bug them to let me ride. I was late 30's when I got my first one that I mentioned earlier. Not long afterward I found myself a widower and a single parent. My two older girls had no interest and were soon gone to college anyway. But my 8 year old daughter took to all things 'horse' like a duck to water, and within barely a year had a horse of her own, and we rode trail and I hauled her and her rides to horse shows until she went to college herself. It did a lot for her self-confidence and made some memories I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Like the time I saddled up Rusty and the little QH / Morgan cross mare I'd bought her and ponied her down to wait for the kid out in front of her school on her last day of 4th grade so she could ride off in front of all of her friends instead of getting on the school bus. Don't think I ever saw her more surprised - and proud.
Among my most prized possessions is a really great picture of her, age 8, riding Rusty. Followed closely by a picture of her nearly two decades later and her son, age 6 months, saddled up and sittin' on Rusty out in the back yard. Along with a similar picture of her and her daughter about 3 years after that. And all the pics these past years of those kids being ponied around the place on my longtime friend.
When I remarried, it wasn't long before my wife got the bug, and that's how we came to have Dixie. And with Rusty gone, she's now doing grandkid duty. And my daughter still saddles up and rides her and my Bay when she and the kids get in for a visit. They're due back at Thanksgiving, and we're really hoping for some riding weather. But around here that's a bit of a crap shoot at that time of year. But no matter. If the weather's not great, they'll all be happy enough just to visit with their *friends* out in the barn.
Glad you all had a great B'day together. Family and friends. That's all of it in a nutshell right there.
Very excellent vanity project! God willing, I look forward to reading Slack Tide's 50th Anniversary publication. In 49 years I'll send Mr. Sip-sip bourbon to celebrate 50 years of fine writing achievements. Good bourbon for ML, on the porch with Solomon IV.
Maybe you could crowdsource your mission statement, put it on your masthead, and change it every month. Here is my entry: “Clever writing that makes you think at a price you’ll like!” (I wanted to suggest “What me worry?”, but that was grabbed long before we all started to worry about everything all the time.) Congratulations and thank you Matt.
Happy Birthday ST; my favorite thing is thinking about the musical pairing when I’m reading the script. I used to dream about being the person who picks the songs for movies. Turns out you’ve got a better chance of getting the director’s job. Maybe I need to substack. Always love your musical selections.
Funny thing about you doing that, Jeannie? I sometimes throw on a musical selection helter-skelter. Maybe a song I like, with no obvious tie-in to anything that gets written - something I just want to get out there. One of the beautiful things about running your own shop is that you don't have to adhere to anyone else's rules. But sometimes, when I settle on a subject, I then think of the song first, and almost work backwards. Music/life/words - they're all related. Glad you see it the same way.
Just finding time to read this, and look! Already 104 comments! We are a vociferous bunch, aren’t we (especially that M. Trosino fellow with his indefatigable fingers).
So much has changed. Most magazines have gone tits up (crude, I know, but such a great expression). But can you imagine reading Time or Newsweek now?
I still read paper newspapers, because that’s still the best way to read the daily news (the discovery element of flipping pages cannot be replicated through scrolling on a screen), but I subscribe to the all the digital versions, too, to send articles to friends and to look up things I missed — the best of both worlds.
But what’s best about this new world of ours is stuff like this little substack of ours. I can’t remember how I first came across you (that was a bathtub of bourbon and three billion brain cells ago), but my life has been richer for it. In what other world can the writer come out from behind his computer and talk to us directly (and interrupt us while we’re talking amongst ourselves)?
So congratulations, Matt, and happy anniversary. I hope this has been more satisfying than writing for the Weekly Standard — and I hope you’re making enough scratch from our bargain subscriptions that your wife doesn’t make you go out and get a real job.
Are we sure this isn't the set-up to a '70s lumberjack porn movie, Deb? "Lost In The Wood," starring Dr. Deborah Hall. (Sorry, don't cancel me. I've been drinking.)
Geeze, Doc. You'd have fit right in in any toolroom / machine shop I've ever worked in. Not to mention any of the shop bars I frequented in my younger days.
Going to work in the shop was a real eye-opener for me. AC made a lot of relatively small products back then, and most of the 'line jobs' were a 'light duty' classification. Consequently, they hired a lot of women to fill them. I mean a *lot*. Some lines had a couple of dozen or more women and only a couple or men working as stockers or relief hands. When I reached the point in my Toolmaker apprenticeship that I had to start going out to the lines to do repair work, I COULD NOT BELIEVE what I was hearing coming out of some of those women's mouths. I was raised in a small southern town by a mother whom I could count on one hand how many times the word 'damn' came out of her mouth...for her entire life!! I didn't know at that point in my young life that women even KNEW most of those words! :-D !!!
Yours is a great summation of modern journalism in a nut, It used to be the most enviable job in the world - a ticket to ride - and now, it can be that, in the right place, on rare occasions. At the Standard, it was that all the time. They just gave me freedom that very people in my same line of work had. Not that every place doesn't have its challenges. The Standard did, too. But most often, magazine journalism is now something else. Fifteen years ago, I'd have encouraged my kids to do it in a second. Now, I tell them to run the other way if they even mention it to me, the industry is such a soulless shell of what it once was. So yeah, things change. And this here allows me to scratch itches I could never quite reach before. To say the things I used to have to find other people to say through narrative devices, who didn't always get at it as fully. Different, but satisfying. But not all that different from what happens in most people's lives who undergo metamorphosis, whether willingly, or if it's inflicted on them: we often cannot even see the new thing until the old thing dies. And sometimes, the old thing has to lie dead in our arms for a couple years, before we admit it.
Anyway, pleasure to have smart, attentive readers like Mr. Munch's trainer. So thanks.........
Just make sure it's not as bad as McDonald's. Actual McDonald's mission statement: "Our worldwide operations are aligned around a global strategy called the Plan to Win, which center on an exceptional customer experience--People, Products, Place, Price and Promotion."
Sometimes I feel like you are in my head, or (worse? 😳) a brother from another mother. Thank you for the great reads, viewpoints, laugh and head shakes. Most of all, congrats on your 1 yr annie! We wish you many returns Master Slacktider!
Seeing that I’m a life-long slacker, I’m glad you’ve brought my tide in, Matt. And when I tire of treading water, I’ll just float.
When I was in the military, "Mission Statement" guy was always busy. And I always knew to find another unit. A unit focused on optimizing its mission statement isn't contributing to the fight in meaningful way. That stuff is all leadership mumbo jumbo to get people promoted, the kind of people who should probably never be promoted.
Amen! No nations were ever conquered, no enemies staved off, by really effective mission statements.
Congrats on the One Year bingo. May there be many more. I was intrigued by the reference/link (the better man) to your Dad. I enjoyed the Anger Problem essay (where was I in late October last year? Oh yeah, fishing in the Chandeleurs) for a number of reasons. However, the practice of the "three-ring binder...of spiritual and moral instruction, with periodic updates,." was cool.
I discussed this with friends at a book-study I attend. They all asked: "What does he put in there?". This will be an ongoing topic for a while, as most of us are grandparents, or soon will be. It might even be worth another essay by you, if I have not missed one addressing this in the past year. In fact, maybe a few adults I know should get the same three-ring binder.
[Forgive me for repeating part of a comment I already made.
It was part of my reply to another commenter
and thus unlikely to be seen by y'all.]
We gypsies and vagabonds
have become friends
as we sit enchanted
and dig deep to respond
to Matt's prose poetry.
Who knew?
He is as surprised
as we are!
And so we celebrate together
the mystery and blessing
of the Tide that binds.
With love and thanks to Matt
and Billy and Michael and Susan
and all you original devoted souls
who gather
and share your life's insights here.
I wish us all a happy first
of many anniversaries
and toast us all
for daring to refute
Matthew Arnold in Dover Beach.
Congrats on the one year! Happy to be here and I have enjoyed your writing immensely!
Love your writing, Matt. Am sorry that I missed your earlier reporting, but when JVL said 'subscribe' to one of the best writers and humans he knew, I decided to do it. You are a breath of fresh air (sorry, but the cliche fits!).
Thanks, Kathleen. If JVL told you to jump off a bridge, would you? He once told me to, and I got shin splints. JVL lied, people almost died. But I'm glad he directed you here.
Me too.
Glad to be here to see the first of what will hopefully be many. My son, having grown up hearing me marvel at your literary exploits back in the Weekly Standard days, alerted me to the existence of Slack Tide, so your talent is one of the increasingly rare ones that spans generations (right up there with the Kardashians or Wayne Newton). After all, what generation wouldn’t like to have a backstage perspective of the Christian professional wrestling world?
Wow, Simple Man. You're the wind beneath my knees, bringing generations together. Will have to tell George South, Christian professional wrestler.
Has it been a year already? Time flies when you’re amusing/enlightening/entertaining me, Matt. Glad to have found you, and here’s hoping the news improves over the next 12 months.
Thanks, pal. My best to Taboo and Fergie. (I know I've made Black Eyed Peas jokes before, but they never get old - to me, anyway. I'm sure they do to you.)
Sounds silly but I always forget to listen to music. Ahhhh, Bonus Track never disappoints and always triggers some sort of musical journey for me. Thank you, Matt. Happy Birthday Slack Tide.
Happy anniversary to you and your wonderful writing. This afternoon we are celebrating four family members’ October birthdays with a Lasagna, a garden fresh salad with homemade blue cheese dressing, garlic bread made with fresh garlic and a carrot cake made with carrots from the neighbors’s garden. We ranch folks know how to eat! I will raise my glass of wine to celebrate you, as well. I think you were my first Substack subscription and I still get a kick out of you actually responding to my comments. Just as if I matter! You and Walter Kirn are my favorites. I so appreciate all the wonderful kind and considerate commenters you have cultivated. So, congratulations to all of us who get to read your stories.
I like Kirn, too. He's good. Thanks for the glass-raising, Karen. Happy b-day to the Dalton-Wemp's.
Thought I'd take a minute to look at comments to see if anything new since last I looked last night. Found this.
Dinner time is a couple of hours away, I've got chores left to do before then, and now I suddenly find myself starvin'. Thanks, Karen. ;-)
The horse in your picture……got a bit of Arab in it? We have QHs here. Mine’s a dark bay and husband’s is a dun. You should smell that lasagna finishing up in the oven. We are in SW Idaho and if you’re in the neighborhood, we’d make room at the table. Provided the dogs like you, of course.
Ha! Too bad I'm not in your neck of the woods...the door wouldn't be hittin' me in the backside as I left to squeeze in at your table! (I'm a dog person - we have a Boxer / Terrier maniac named Willie keepin' an eye on things around here at the moment - but just to be sure, I'd maybe rub a little hamburger or chicken on my pant leg before I left.)
No, Dixie is all QH, as is the Bay gelding that's her turn-out mate. Dixie's actually my wife's mare, coming on 27 yrs old now. I bought her as a pleasure / trail horse for my wife 20 years ago. The Bay is 'mine', bought as a weanling 20 years ago. But I pretty much get equal saddle time on both of them.
Picture was taken last September. She was diagnosed with Cushing's disease in the spring of last year. The med we put her on did its job, and continues to do so, but it took her until Sept. to fully shed her winter coat, and that was the 1st time she was ridden last year because of that...it can get pretty hot / humid here in MI in the summer, and last year was a pretty warm one and she was pretty miserable for most of it. She's a real pleasure to ride, well trained (before we got her). Pretty much a push-button Cadillac, unlike my Bay, who's a lumber wagon by comparison, but still a lot of fun. What he lacks in confirmation and 'smoothness', he makes up for in personality...about 1100 pounds worth. If Doc doesn't make me laugh at least once a day, I'm just not payin' attention.
Have had horses for 30 years now. A fair number have come and gone over the years, all QHs except for one App (couldn't tell she was an App unless you looked at her striped feet...no blanket, no 'chrome') one Palomino (really, just a blonde QH), a breeding-stock Paint filly (the most gorgeous and also, as it turned out, the dumbest and most dangerous horse I ever owned - her time with us was short) and one grey Arabian of Polish / Russian blood I bought from a breeder acquaintance as a green 2 year old, basically on a whim. He was a great ride. Other than the one time during a training ride he left me flat on my back in the middle of a side road. Wasn't too happy that I'd pushed him way past feeding time and took advantage of my momentary inattention and complacency brought on by the fact he'd been absolutely perfect up to that point. Took me an hour to catch him. But we got along great after that. Quite a different experience from the QHs I was used to. My daughter showed him for a couple of summers and didn't do too badly with him.
Though I like all horses, I've always been a QH guy. My first horse, purchased 30 years ago, was just a grade, foundation style Quarter, 7 years old, and a rocket with a lit fuse. All he wanted to do was run, and that was fine with me. Lost Rusty last year at the age of 36. Always said he was the best thousand bucks I ever spent on myself, or pretty much anything else, because of all the other horses / experiences trailering him home led to. Can't think of him without thinking of a commercial Los Alamitos used to run to advertise their QH racing...a 'jockey cam' POV of a QH launching out of the gate and heading down the track full bore, nothing but the sound of pounding hooves and a caption: Quarter Horse racing...Highway speeds. Without the highway.
Well, you see what happens when you ask a question about a horse of a horse owner, but I expect you might have had this experience before. If not, reckon you'll know better next time. ;-)
Hope you all had a great time together. Happy Birthdays all around!!
Never tire of horse stories. I’ve had them since about 1969 and pretty much loved them all. I was really shy as a kid and those horses were my best friends. We brought elderlies up to ID 13 yrs ago, and have laid the two girls to rest since then. We have a small sheep ranch and aren’t lacking in critters. 2 Border Collie sisters, a Corgi/BC cross, 4 cats, Koi, 2ducks, 30 hens, 2 horses, 40 ewes and 3 bucks (sheep, not dollars😂). And Grandkids!
B’day dinner was excellent! I love to cook and my peeps like to eat.
Holy cow! (Yes, I actually said that on purpose.) You're sure that's a ranch you've got there? Might want to check your deed to see if you might have purchased a zoo by mistake.
All kidding aside, that's a lot of critters to take care of, even in good weather. Winters in ID must be on par or maybe worse than what we get here in the Lower P in MI, so that's got to be a hell of a lot of work!! And to think I used to start grumbling come mid-February about a string of a few nags, 2 dogs 3 cats and keepin' the birds that winter over pretty well fed! No wonder y'all eat so well. Pretty much have to just to stay on your feet, I expect. And if I were feeding that may mouths, 3 bucks ($$$) is about all I'd have to my name at any given time!
Know what you mean about horses / friends. Always wanted one as a kid, but never got the chance to have one of my own. A few of the local farmers I worked for growing up down in KY had a nag or two standing around, and I'd bug them to let me ride. I was late 30's when I got my first one that I mentioned earlier. Not long afterward I found myself a widower and a single parent. My two older girls had no interest and were soon gone to college anyway. But my 8 year old daughter took to all things 'horse' like a duck to water, and within barely a year had a horse of her own, and we rode trail and I hauled her and her rides to horse shows until she went to college herself. It did a lot for her self-confidence and made some memories I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Like the time I saddled up Rusty and the little QH / Morgan cross mare I'd bought her and ponied her down to wait for the kid out in front of her school on her last day of 4th grade so she could ride off in front of all of her friends instead of getting on the school bus. Don't think I ever saw her more surprised - and proud.
Among my most prized possessions is a really great picture of her, age 8, riding Rusty. Followed closely by a picture of her nearly two decades later and her son, age 6 months, saddled up and sittin' on Rusty out in the back yard. Along with a similar picture of her and her daughter about 3 years after that. And all the pics these past years of those kids being ponied around the place on my longtime friend.
When I remarried, it wasn't long before my wife got the bug, and that's how we came to have Dixie. And with Rusty gone, she's now doing grandkid duty. And my daughter still saddles up and rides her and my Bay when she and the kids get in for a visit. They're due back at Thanksgiving, and we're really hoping for some riding weather. But around here that's a bit of a crap shoot at that time of year. But no matter. If the weather's not great, they'll all be happy enough just to visit with their *friends* out in the barn.
Glad you all had a great B'day together. Family and friends. That's all of it in a nutshell right there.
such wonderful tributes
to your treasures, Michael
There's nothing better
for the inside of a man
than the outside
of a horse.
--Churchill,
oft quoted by Reagan
Horses: They're dangerous at both ends and crafty in the middle.
-- Sherlock Holmes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uy-pPbxpG4M
oft quoted by me! :-D
ps
Michael,
you dassn't miss
my logger tales
as told to Ray Balestri
(see below)
Very excellent vanity project! God willing, I look forward to reading Slack Tide's 50th Anniversary publication. In 49 years I'll send Mr. Sip-sip bourbon to celebrate 50 years of fine writing achievements. Good bourbon for ML, on the porch with Solomon IV.
Ha! "Mr. Sip-sip." Good Kinky pull. Thanks HighPerformance.
Maybe you could crowdsource your mission statement, put it on your masthead, and change it every month. Here is my entry: “Clever writing that makes you think at a price you’ll like!” (I wanted to suggest “What me worry?”, but that was grabbed long before we all started to worry about everything all the time.) Congratulations and thank you Matt.
Thanks, Curt. I just positively hate mission statements. But now you have me contemplating an anti-mission statement contest.........
Happy Birthday ST; my favorite thing is thinking about the musical pairing when I’m reading the script. I used to dream about being the person who picks the songs for movies. Turns out you’ve got a better chance of getting the director’s job. Maybe I need to substack. Always love your musical selections.
Funny thing about you doing that, Jeannie? I sometimes throw on a musical selection helter-skelter. Maybe a song I like, with no obvious tie-in to anything that gets written - something I just want to get out there. One of the beautiful things about running your own shop is that you don't have to adhere to anyone else's rules. But sometimes, when I settle on a subject, I then think of the song first, and almost work backwards. Music/life/words - they're all related. Glad you see it the same way.
Just finding time to read this, and look! Already 104 comments! We are a vociferous bunch, aren’t we (especially that M. Trosino fellow with his indefatigable fingers).
So much has changed. Most magazines have gone tits up (crude, I know, but such a great expression). But can you imagine reading Time or Newsweek now?
I still read paper newspapers, because that’s still the best way to read the daily news (the discovery element of flipping pages cannot be replicated through scrolling on a screen), but I subscribe to the all the digital versions, too, to send articles to friends and to look up things I missed — the best of both worlds.
But what’s best about this new world of ours is stuff like this little substack of ours. I can’t remember how I first came across you (that was a bathtub of bourbon and three billion brain cells ago), but my life has been richer for it. In what other world can the writer come out from behind his computer and talk to us directly (and interrupt us while we’re talking amongst ourselves)?
So congratulations, Matt, and happy anniversary. I hope this has been more satisfying than writing for the Weekly Standard — and I hope you’re making enough scratch from our bargain subscriptions that your wife doesn’t make you go out and get a real job.
hahaha crude yes
but nothing says it better!
frst heard it
(and many others)
in a logging camp
in British Columbia in 197O
I was the only woman there
(was married to a rigging slinger)
those dudes could turn a phrase
Are we sure this isn't the set-up to a '70s lumberjack porn movie, Deb? "Lost In The Wood," starring Dr. Deborah Hall. (Sorry, don't cancel me. I've been drinking.)
LADIES AND CHILDREN
NOT ADMITTED
...if that don't fetch 'em
I don't know Arkansas
--Mark Twain in Huckleberry Finn
It would be fun to hear a few. I would gladly incorporate new colorful imagery (especially if there's a bit of spice of crudity) in my patois.
OK
If something was big,
it was WHOORE-ing big.
If something was just tough
--as in when you would say:
Too bad!--
they'd say:
That's the way the money goes...
All booze and no clothes!
(referring to what happened
when they got their checks
and flew back to Vancouver
to the "hotel district")
Said district included
The Harlem Nocturne Nightclub
where my man and I and his three best logger buddies and their wives
danced the night away
after our wedding
If the cook was no good
he was told he was a cocksucker
who' would soon walk the plank
to the goose
(the plank was the narrow dock
leading to the goose
which was was plane that landed in the water to take him back
to Vancouver)
If something was worthless:
it wasn't worth a diddleyfuck
And most things were deemed so
I better hold it there, Ray
or Matt will have ME
walking the plank
edit:
Harlem Nocturne Cabaret
I still have the ticket stub.
One of the loggers' wives
was an innocent lady.
She came running out
of the women's washroom,
eyes wide as saucers,
exclaiming that
the person in the stall next to her
was peeing with their
shoes pointed toward the toilet !!!!! 😳
Geeze, Doc. You'd have fit right in in any toolroom / machine shop I've ever worked in. Not to mention any of the shop bars I frequented in my younger days.
Going to work in the shop was a real eye-opener for me. AC made a lot of relatively small products back then, and most of the 'line jobs' were a 'light duty' classification. Consequently, they hired a lot of women to fill them. I mean a *lot*. Some lines had a couple of dozen or more women and only a couple or men working as stockers or relief hands. When I reached the point in my Toolmaker apprenticeship that I had to start going out to the lines to do repair work, I COULD NOT BELIEVE what I was hearing coming out of some of those women's mouths. I was raised in a small southern town by a mother whom I could count on one hand how many times the word 'damn' came out of her mouth...for her entire life!! I didn't know at that point in my young life that women even KNEW most of those words! :-D !!!
I'm a red neck woman, Michael
feral not domesticated
grew up in a hard scrabble town
outside Cleveland
with two older brothers
married a Canadian logger when I was 19
lived in the logging camps of northern BC
way up near Alaska
and have always liked
direct anglo-saxon expression
“All booze and no clothes”! A perfect summation of my long-ago, idyllic single life. Can’t wait to use that one when the opportunity arises.
Yours is a great summation of modern journalism in a nut, It used to be the most enviable job in the world - a ticket to ride - and now, it can be that, in the right place, on rare occasions. At the Standard, it was that all the time. They just gave me freedom that very people in my same line of work had. Not that every place doesn't have its challenges. The Standard did, too. But most often, magazine journalism is now something else. Fifteen years ago, I'd have encouraged my kids to do it in a second. Now, I tell them to run the other way if they even mention it to me, the industry is such a soulless shell of what it once was. So yeah, things change. And this here allows me to scratch itches I could never quite reach before. To say the things I used to have to find other people to say through narrative devices, who didn't always get at it as fully. Different, but satisfying. But not all that different from what happens in most people's lives who undergo metamorphosis, whether willingly, or if it's inflicted on them: we often cannot even see the new thing until the old thing dies. And sometimes, the old thing has to lie dead in our arms for a couple years, before we admit it.
Anyway, pleasure to have smart, attentive readers like Mr. Munch's trainer. So thanks.........
“And sometimes, the old thing has to lie dead in our arms for a couple of years before we admit it.”
See? That’s what I’m talking about. This new thing of ours. May our children shine like a million suns and make shadows of us.
wow Ray
your loving poetic words
bring tears
they express the heart
of this new thing of ours
that we are creating together
I wish we all lived nearby
each other
and could gather face to face
on our porches
But I know
this IS our porch
and I am so glad
you are here
I'm glad you're here, too, Dr. Hall. It's a big porch, but there seems to be room for all of us.
You are wrong, wrong, wrong about not having a Mission statement!
I wanted to send you my Chart-A-Vision with over a trillion possible mission statements. It takes only 4 seconds to come up with a brilliant one.
But I can't attach it!
Think about this little cosmic twist: I PAID for a subscription to be able to GIVE you a gift, but now I can't because there is no paper CLIP thingie.
Just make sure it's not as bad as McDonald's. Actual McDonald's mission statement: "Our worldwide operations are aligned around a global strategy called the Plan to Win, which center on an exceptional customer experience--People, Products, Place, Price and Promotion."
Alliteration is the devil!
Sometimes I feel like you are in my head, or (worse? 😳) a brother from another mother. Thank you for the great reads, viewpoints, laugh and head shakes. Most of all, congrats on your 1 yr annie! We wish you many returns Master Slacktider!